Rumor on the street is that all you have to do to get your own ISHAS is to marry Dov-Bear's daughter! Ipad not included.
Additionally DovBear might be willing to give free ISHAS's to certain individuals, if they promise to stay away from his daughter. These include:
A. Anyone who took the first offer seriously.
B. Anyone who is a regular user of the words: Da'at Torah, Gedolim or "my rebbe says."
C. Anyone who is a big fan of real american values a.k.a Sarah Palin.